Writing about sisters

Plus some recommended reads if you want more sibling stories

I’ve been thinking a lot about sisters this week. It’s hardly a surprise because my latest novel The Dressmakers of London is about a pair of estranged sisters who are forced through circumstances to begin speaking once again and the journey they go on to repair their relationship. In fact, I dedicated the book to my own sister.

For my own wonderful sister, Justine

Justine and I are two and a half years apart in age, so I don’t remember a time in my life without her. We have always been close, although we did bicker as a lot of siblings do when they are younger. There was an incident with a pink plastic saxophone and an episode of The Mickey Mouse Club that looms large in family legend, as well as some reenacting sword fights from Peter Pan with empty two-litre soda bottles that probably got a bit out of hand.¹ These things happen.

From a very early age, we’ve been best friends and she has always played a huge role in my life. When I got married in 2023, I knew without a question who my maid of honor would be. Justine was my one and only choice.

Justine helping me put on my veil in the car park before walking into my wedding venue while her husband laughs at us. The story behind this is that our wonderful photographer, Ollie, realized that the room where The Gentleman had been taken for his interview with the officiant from Gloucestershire County Council had huge windows looking out right where my family and I were pulling up. Ollie ran out, waving his arms for us to stay out of view so I could stay hidden and The Gentleman would not see me in my dress before I walked down the aisle.

Motivations and first draft troubles

When I began to write The Dressmakers of London, my starting place was this: how would it feel if I no longer spoke to my sister? “Horrible” was my immediate answer², but I wanted to dig in further. Knowing that this book was going to be about an eventual reconciliation, I needed to understand:

1. What drove my dressmaking sisters, Izzie and Sylvia, apart?

2. How did each of them perceive their rift at the time and how did they feel about it years later at the beginning of the book?

3. How would they as characters have to change in order to allow their relationship to evolve into something new that would eventually lead to that reconciliation?

I set about writing my first draft, thinking that I had answered these questions sufficiently. However, when I reached the 40,000 word mark (about a third of the book) I realized that I was stuck. It was growing more and more difficult to get words down on the page. I know something was wrong, and I suspected that it had to do with not only Izzie and Sylvia’s motivations but their very different feelings about the events leading up to their estrangement.

I went back and worked at editing what I had already written—something I try to avoid if possible because I find it can be too tempting to constantly edit and not progress with new words on a first draft. However, in this case it was vital. I put in the time to deepen Sylvia and Izzie’s backstories and their motivations, and when I reached the point where I had been stuck, everything unlocked. Suddenly the book was flowing again, and I was able to finish my draft.

Varied and ever-changing

Ultimately, what I hope readers who pick up The Dressmakers of London take away from this book is an exploration of sisterhood that acknowledges that sisterhood is never just one thing. I have spent a great deal of my career as an author writing about the different dynamics that can color female friendships because I had become frustrated after reading books in which it felt that women were always portrayed as in competition with one another. The truth is, my real life experience has always been very different.

Sister are not one thing. They can have wildly different takes on and feelings about the events of their shared lives. They don’t always have to get along, and they also don’t have to always agree. The dynamic between them can change and grow as they also change and grow, but if there is a foundation of respect at their heart of that sisterly relationship, it can be one of the most powerful relationships in their lives.

---

A highly subjective list of books about sisters

I had been planning to put together a list of favorite books featuring sisters when I saw that

Getting It Alli Together

recently published one of her own! I am linking that here so you can go look at her excellent recommendations. (Be sure to look at the comments too.)

10 books I loved about sisters

Meanwhile, here are a few more of my favorites.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

One of the classics. I have read Little Women several times in my life, and each time I found different things about this book stood out to me. However, ultimately the thing that draws me back to it time after time is the relationship between Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy. If you haven’t seen Greta Gerwig’s film adaptation, please stop reading and go remedy that right now.

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

Another great classic about sisters. (With another great film adaptation!) I have always identified with Elinor far more than Marianne, but I find the very deep love between all of the Dashwood women incredibly charming. The book is a wonderful example of the bonds that sisters can share even when they themselves are so very different.

Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen

I will gush to whoever will listen about my love for all of Sarah Addison Allen’s books for as long as they will listen to me, but Garden Spells will forever be my favorite because it was my first. Blending a bit of magic with a gentle story, this book features a classic sister trope: the return of the free-spirited sister to their hometown and the interruption to the practical sister who stayed behind’s life. I won’t say much more, but my goodness it is wonderful.

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

I know that there are many people who came into the current era of historical fiction of this book, but for those who haven’t read it yet, this story about sisters is set against the brutality of German occupation of France during World War 2 and the resistance that fought back. Emotional and heart-breaking.

I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith

How could any writer not adore a book that starts with, “I write this sitting in the kitchen sink?” Told from the perspective of Cassandra, a burgeoning writer, the book is a charming interwar coming of age novel that centers the relationship of two sisters from a bohemian family—and the wealthier brothers who move to a house near them.

Atonement by Ian McEwan

I…don’t want to actually write a synopsis for this book because it feels very important that, if you don’t know what happens in this novel, you go in cold. Just read it.

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

Akin to Garden Spells, Practical Magic is about witchy sisters, a family legend, and a return home. I will admit that the movie edges the book out for me because I saw it at such an impressionable age, but I still love Hoffman’s beautifully written book.

What are your favorite books about sisters?

1. I don’t recall who was Peter Pan and who was Captain Hook, but I know that today I would choose Captain Hook every time if only for the clothes and hair.

2. If any readers are coping with an estrangement of their own, you have my deepest sympathies. Even if you have made a choice that is the healthiest one for you because of someone else’s toxic behavior, I know from watching friends go through this that it is not one that is ever made lightly.