The Hardest Books I’ve Ever Written
How two of the books that scared me the most became my favorites
Whenever someone asks me what my favorite book I’ve written is, I always smile to myself not because it isn’t a valid question but because it isn’t the most revealing question. That would be: what was the hardest book to write and why?
While I remember the books that flowed from my fingertips very fondly (yes, I’m talking about you The Last Garden in England and A Traitor in Whitehall, you wonderfully easy-to-write dreams of books), I’m proudest of the ones that made me sweat, worry, and almost give up. Those books are the ones that left scars but also helped me grow as an author.
The Whispers of War
There is a reason that people talk about a novelist’s second novel with respectfully fearful reverence. Sophomore books—like second albums for bands—are notoriously difficult for several reasons, but the two that I think are the most profound are time and pressure. After having all the time in the world to write their first book, a novelist is usually writing their second under the pressure of a contractually agreed deadline. Not only do they have expectations for themselves and their work now, their editor and readers do as well.
I will admit, I walked into The Whispers of War with more than a bit of arrogance about me. It was, after all, not my second book but my ninth. However, it was my second historical novel after The Light Over London, which had been a dream to write.
I should have known better.
The irony is that, looking back at it, the plot of The Whispers of War didn’t change that much from pitch to publication. The book is about three women, Marie, Nora, and Hazel, whose friendship is tested when German-born Marie is forced to register as an enemy alien at the start of World War 2. With the memories of Britain’s internment of German citizens during World War 1 far too fresh in her family’s mind, she’s desperate to avoid a similar fate. However, when her association with a fellow German national puts her under suspicion, she and her friends must decide what is more important to them: their loyalty to their country or Marie’s freedom?
If The Whispers of War basically covers the same ground that I expected it to when I first started writing it, why did I struggle so much with it?
Well, it turns out that when you set out to write a three-POV book but you’re not entirely certain how those different perspectives should be woven together, you’re going to run yourself into some trouble.
The book as it was published follows Marie first. Then the story picks up in Nora’s POV for part two and Hazel in part three. However, that’s not how I originally wrote it. At first, I had all three POVs weaving back and forth, but even as I was writing it I knew that something wasn’t working. The book had no flow to it, and although I finished that draft and handed it in to my editor, I knew that I was in for a long slog of a developmental edit.
I was not wrong.
I believe that I ripped that book apart and reordered it three times before it finally gelled into the book the you can read today. The first thing I did was take all of the interwoven stories and lump them together into their own parts. Then I played around with whose POV should go first. Then, when I thought I’d finally gotten it, my editor asked, “This is good, but do you want to make it great?”
Of course I did, but not without letting out a silent scream of despair because it was the book that just would. not. die.
But you know what? I’m glad I listened to my editor because I am proud of that book—so incredibly proud of it—and every time a reader reaches out to me and tells me that they’ve enjoyed reading it I remember everything that went into writing it.
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